An aunt carries on a family tradition with her nieces
When I was a kid, my mom had Mondays off work. And every Monday, she and I used to go to the old Piccadilly cafeteria on Elvis Presley Boulevard, a few doors down from Graceland, for early dinner. Every week, I’d get a meat (fried chicken, meatloaf or Salisbury steak), two vegetables, and the red Jell-O knockoff.
I cannot remember even one conversation my mom and I had during those dinners, what we wore, what it smelled like, or whether we laughed. I only vaguely remember the set-up of the dimly lit dining room. But what I do remember is how I felt. I loved Monday dinner with my mom and looked forward to it all week because it was simply about the time we spent together.
Of course, I couldn’t articulate those feelings as a child. But I now remember very clearly feeling grown-up eating at a fancy a– Piccadilly (haha!)—feeling seen, respected, regarded, and strangely welcomed, like I belonged there. And I wasn’t just welcomed by my mom, but also by the other adults there. I ordered my own food (not from a kids menu), and had no iPad or smart device to entertain me. It was just one-on-one time for little T. Meeks and Momsie.
Remembering that feeling from Monday night dinner is why I decided to start taking my nieces, eight-year-old Madeline and six-year-old Olivia, to dine at restaurants that are not necessarily kid-friendly or designated “family dining.”
I don’t have children of my own, so it’s been one of my greatest joys to have this quasi-parenting opportunity to share some of my experiences with the girls. I’ve dated two chefs and an organic farmer. So to know me is to know I love some food! And I particularly love dining out.
No matter how many times I’ve dined at the same restaurant, there is always something about each experience that surprises me or delights me. Now, including the girls in my dining experiences is like that built-in surprise or delight. Guaranteed.
But arriving at this sweet spot took a lot of trial and error.
For our early dining experiences together, I was mindful of choosing restaurants that offered elevated and quality versions of foods children typically like to eat. We tried Italian chicken cutlets and pasta with Alfredo sauce, Chinese lo mein noodles with fresh steamed veggies, and Thai sweet and mildly spicy Massaman curry chicken over Jasmine rice.
Some restaurants tend to seat folx with kids in the back or to the side, where potentially unruly littles won’t disturb other diners. But I always request the opposite. I like for us to be seated in the thick of things. Kids are pretty intuitive, so sitting in the center of the activity helps them to quickly pick up on the rhythm of the place and understand appropriate behavior. And—like I did during Monday-night dinners with my mom—it also helps the kiddos feel like they belong.
I go back and forth on this constantly, but sometimes I do allow the girls to pack their iPads and headphones. If the restaurant is pretty empty and there’s a good cocktail I want to enjoy, then I might give the okay for the girls to watch a movie after their meal. I’d simply be pretending if I said each time I dine out with the girls, we’re all in perfect sync and making delightful connections between each bite. Sometimes they aren’t feeling it, and neither am I.
The girls know I have one rule that remains consistent: We have fun. In conjunction with that rule, I ask that we try new things, particularly new foods. ’Cause where’s the fun in eating the same things over and over again? Embracing that thought, Madeline has learned that she loves the “avocado green stuff” (guacamole), Caesar salads can squash the hankering for ones with ranch dressing, and frozen cannoli can’t be beat. There already isn’t a green vegetable Olivia doesn’t like (hallelujah!), but she’s also added penne ‘noodles’ with garlicky red sauce to her list of faves and prefers her lemonade served exclusively in one of those Italian-style beverage flutes.
To date, the girls have had elevated dining experiences in Memphis, Nashville, Chattanooga, Atlanta, Little Rock, and Branson. And with each one, I’ve watched them gradually settle in, get more and more comfortable in their own skin, order for themselves, light up with the first taste of something new, squeal with delight, and have a lot of fun. I love setting the table for those experiences for them. But more than anything, I just love having the opportunity to see it.
I hope much later in life they’ll still remember.
*Special thanks to The Archives Bar & Bistro for hosting us.*
Tonya Meeks is a native Memphian and lifelong writer. Nonprofit leader and consultant by day, budding essayist by night, she spends entire weekends park-hopping for the best swings and slides with her fav little humans—Madeline and Olivia. @treetonya
Kim Thomas is a lifestyle blogger and photographer based in Memphis. Launched in September 2010, her blog, KP Fusion, provides of-the-moment fashion, style, and beauty tips and trends with a little Memphis flavor thrown in. @kpfusion